Art Linkletter made us all laugh when he interviewed children for Kids Say the Darndest Things.
As a pastor, I’m finding that even adults say the darndest things.
Being a white Southern Baptist preacher with a white wife, three white kids and a black kid in a small-town First Baptist Church makes for interesting looks at the grocery store and curious conversations with folks around town.
We adopted our fourth son from Ethiopia. Among many other things, you guessed it—he’s black. Now, his momma’s white. His daddy’s white. His brothers are white. His grandparents are white. His aunts and uncles are white. His cousins are white. And the list goes on.
Couples who adopt from another race immediately make themselves a biracial family. No one goes into such a situation lightly. There is so much about the present and the future to consider—especially when you live south of the Mason-Dixon!
One lady told me that she thought anyone who adopted children—especially black children—was “inviting trouble.”
Didn’t God “invite trouble” when he chose to send His Son into our world?
Bring it on.
I was asked one day if my wife and I were going to “get Benjamin around black people so he knows where he came from.” Talk about not knowing how to respond. As if simply surrounding Benjamin with other black kids would give him a greater sense of identity and help him feel more rooted in this thing called life.
When we were in the process of adopting Benjamin from Ethiopia, we started a blog entitled “Making Benjamin a Brady.” (http://makingbenjaminabrady.blogspot.com) That’s what we were doing—making him a Brady. He’s been home for over 6 months now and we’re still making him a Brady. We’re making all our kids Bradys, and we’ll be working on it until the day they walk about of our house.
We live in Paducah, Kentucky. Most of our friends have white skin. We spend a lot of time together as a family, and church is a big part of our lives. I want Benjamin’s primary identity growing up to be his family. I want him to know of God’s love for us, of his parents love for God, of our love for each other, and of our love for all our boys.
I want Benjamin to realize Martin Luther King’s dream of a land where men are not judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.
I want Benjamin to know that he was born in Ethiopia. I want to tell him about his mother’s death which took place during his birth. I want to tell him about our conversation with his father the day we got on the plane to bring him home.
I want him to know that tears well up in my eyes if I look for too long at the picture of his father on my desk.
I want Benjamin to avoid stereotypes—for him to realize that this world is not black and white. I want him to realize that our country is not made up of blue states and red states. I want him to understand that what you see is not always what you get.
I want Benjamin to realize that the words of the song are not just empty words, but that they are real. Indeed, Jesus does loves the little children—all the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white, they are all precious in his sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world.
I want Benjamin to know of God’s great love—a love which knows no distinctions and entertains no discrimination. I want him to know that in Christ, “there is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female” (Galatians 3:28)
Three or four decades from now, Christmas may be a whole lot more colorful than it is now. I’m sure we’ll have some white grandkids. There may be some black grandkids coming over for Christmas. There might even be some of those kids who are called “mixed.”
It doesn’t matter, because man looks at the outward appearance. God looks at the heart.
It may be too simple, but I think a loving home life where Christ reigns supreme will do more for Benjamin than encouraging him to see life in a racial and superficial way.
So, to answer the question: No, we’re not going to “get Benjamin around black people.” We’re going to do our best to get him around God’s people, and if those people are black, then so be it. If they are white, so be it. If they are green, well, we’ll get him around them too.
In our day, there will always be some issues for trans-racially adopted children. But what an opportunity we have to show Benjamin (and the rest of the world) that his life is not about the color of our family’s skin, but the faithfulness of our God.
Pastor Todd
