Sticking to Our Vows
Todd Brady, First Baptist Church, Paducah, KY
Although most statisticians tell us that 50% of all marriages in America end in divorce, I’m glad it’s still discouraging for me to hear of another famous couple who has made the decision to back away from the vows they once made. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver announced their separation by saying, “This has been a great personal and professional transition for each of us. After a great deal of thought, reflection, discussion, and prayer, we came to this decision together.”
The famous couple separating after 25 years together and 4 children is yet another drop of sludge in the swampy waters of a society which devalues marriage. What some once considered an unlikely pairing became a quarter-of-a-century union which was eventually torn asunder as the couple decided that they are “amicably separating.”
It’s becoming increasingly normal for couples to break up. Neil Sedaka used to sing that “breaking up is hard to do,” but when we’re talking about the institution of marriage, let us realize that breaking up is not just a hard thing to do. It’s not God’s plan.
Marriage is first and foremost about a relationship with God. In wedding ceremonies, I find myself saying often that the most important person in a marriage is not the man or the woman, but God himself.
God established marriage as a divine institution. It is God’s design. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24
We need men who will “hold fast” to their wives and not separate from them.
“Amicably separating” might be euphemistic step but it is a step in the wrong direction. Separation is sad for the couple. It’s sad for the children. It’s sad for the family. It’s sad for our society. But most of all, separation is sad because it is an effect of the Fall.
Within this fallen world, we know that God has not only reconciled us to Himself through Christ; he has entrusted to us the ministry of reconciliation. “Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God” 2 Corinthians 5:20.
Christians reconcile. Christians make things right. Christians press through the difficult and uncertain times by doing the right thing. In short, Christians stick with it—and one of the first places where our perseverance is seen is in our marriages.
The Apostle Paul says that the institution of marriage should be a picture of the relationship which Christ has with the church. (Ephesians 5:32)
A little over two years ago, a good and godly man in our church was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor, and for two long years his wife modeled grace and commitment as she cared for and stuck with her sick husband.
Talk about “in sickness and in health.”
After 37 years of marriage, the man’s wife and daughters stood at his casket, grieving his death and celebrating his new life in Christ
Today I find myself thanking God that the dear couple in our church did not consider the decision to “amicably separate.”
They stuck to their vows. Just the way God designed it—‘till death did them part.
